I used to be a sucker for sentimental tunes and stories and such. I cried over a short story featuring a group of kids who tried to keep a snowman alive through the year in an old abandoned refrigerator. Not quite as bad as that now, but I do still have my moments.
One of the big buttons for me is when a close friend is upset. Sure, I offer cyber-hugs to all and sundry when they’re down, but it just isn’t good enough when it’s someone who lives inside of my head and heart; one of My People.
I suppose one of the features of my closest friends is simply that they feel for me some measure of the fondness I have for them. It’s hard to quantify these things, because some friends just naturally love each other more, while others have to kind of work at it a bit more. But still, I find it hardest to let go of people who have been important to me. took me years to get over losing certain friends and lovers in the past, and even now when I see them, it’s hard not to just sweep them up and whisk them away for a few days of chat and cuddles.
What I guess is most important to me is that the people who are closest to me actually understand me, which sounds like a simple thing until you really think about how few people in your life truly get you. Even your smart friends underestimate the depth of your feelings, and your dumb friends just think you’re trying too hard and shouldn’t be so serious. Funny how some of these smart and dumb people are the same people, though. 😉
I don’t say any of this to offend. I mean, really, we all sort of feel like we’re alone on an island in an ocean of islands inhabited by one or two people, and if we look close enough at our friends who are in good relationships, they still seem to be occupying separate islands, or at least separate coastlines.
What I think… well, what I think doesn’t really matter, in the long run, but what I think really matters is that we try to make that connection. In this day and age, with the internet (IM, email, social network and message board), smart phones, WiFi and every other modern convenience, you’d think that would be easier. However, I think I’ve been noticing that, as these technologies get older, certain expectations have become the social norm, and breaching these modified rules of netiquette easily lead to drama the likes you haven’t seen since your school days, which for me was a lifetime ago.
I think I had a point, but to be honest, Jonathan Coulton’s Artificial Heart album has surgically removed it from my head. I suppose the best thing I can say is, don’t take your friends for granted, and try to remember that they have lives and feelings too, so don’t be such a bastard about it when they aren’t able to stroke your ego in timely fashion. And keep in mind that there are small things that mean a great deal to them, and try not to tread on them while you’re selling your big ideas.