So, my website is out of order for a few days. Seems I missed a payment. I have to hope they’ll reinstate my website when I make the payment, hopefully later today or tomorrow, assuming I earn enough money from today’s activities. It is my fervent hope that I won’t have to make a regular habit of posting here, not because I don’t miss you guys, but because my stuff isn’t here. 😉
Well, that’s not exactly true. I actually updated the book page to include the latest release, which I happen to know for a fact none of you have read. I know this because I only sold two copies. But am I hurt?
Yes, actually. I put a lot into that collection of stories. I know that short stories aren’t as much of a draw as full novels, but really, I thought I had at least a few more readers, but as it turns out, not so much. I suspect that’s my fault. Apparently I have exhausted my audience’s collective pool of good will towards me. Probably all that lousy music I pushed on folks last year.
I’ve probably convinced you that my work just isn’t up to professional standards, just by pricing it so low, and by pimping it for weeks on end instead of just putting it out there and pretending it doesn’t matter to me whether you buy it or not, because I have so many other brands in the fire. I do, as it happens, but really, I can’t help feeling a little let down, despite having no one to blame but myself.
I apologize for the self-pitying tone. I promised not to do that anymore. I’m not trying to guilt you into giving me your money. Why should you? What have I given you that you really wanted or needed? Nothing. I write these blog posts almost every day, and I write all of this fiction and music and design these tee shirts and draw the occasional cartoon and I’ve started painting again, but really, no one asked me to do these things. No one has asked me for Richard Burley or ‘Passage To Bujah’ or the Tarot series or especially ‘The Whole Other Half’. Nobody. Not even you. A few of you liked some of it, to be sure, but nobody actually asked me for any of it. So to be perfectly fair to you, I’m being a nuisance, really.
Don’t look at me like that. I mean it. And it’s true, so why not say it? I should probably amend that to say one friend (Al Petrie) asked me for a copy of ‘Poison Pen Letters From Limbo’, when I get it done. And my Mom wants a sequel to ‘Athena’s Eyes’, and maybe ‘Angela, The Huntress’. And my wife was the one who suggested writing ‘Passage To Bujah’.
But the fact remains, almost nobody else has really been clamouring for this stuff, so it shouldn’t surprise me that I’ve only made two sales of my latest book. It’s fairly hefty for a short story collection, with a couple of novellas or novelettes, or whatever they’re called these days. I learned that the average short story collection usually only has five to ten stories in it. I’ve been putting at least a dozen stories into most of these suckers.
‘The Back Roads of Limbo’ has fourteen stories, two sets of which are consecutive chapters of temporarily-orphaned novels, so basically, a dozen stories. They’re about everything under the sun, really. I don’t even worry about putting out too much fiction in one volume, if such a thing is possible. I’ve got so many other stories lined up, I can keep doing this for at least the rest of the decade before the current batch is done, and by then, I’ll probably have more things to write about.
Speaking of writing, I was working on another new story when I remembered to do this. I may have to make some rewrites on it, but it’s coming out pretty nicely. Just need to solve a few more problems and get the rest of the story finished, if I can. It’s turning into a bit of a novella in itself, and I wasn’t really intending it as such, except that I do have the option of writing between 5K and 30K for this Amazon contest thingy I’m aiming at.
The story is called ‘Blues In The Night’, featuring Zoe and Andrew, characters who only my closest friends know anything about, because they were intended to feature in a novel trilogy I keep procrastinating on completing. The story was originally planned to be part of ‘Customs and Road Songs of Limbo’, the follow-up to Back Roads, but I think I can spare a title or two, since that volume also seems to have too many titles. I may divvy them up a bit after I’m done. We’ll see.
Well, The Whole Other Half is just about finished playing in the headphones. The coffee is almost empty. These are signs that it may be time to get dressed and get back to work. I’m sure you’ve been pretty nervous, sitting there watching me type this in my bathrobe. It’s like your worst nightmare version of that scene from Basic Instinct, with lots more hair.
I hope someone got a laugh from all of this. I’ve been writing it with a big grin on my face. Sure beats the hell out of waking up from a half-dream of being coached by Warren Ellis not to write so many stories with sex in them. Yeah, I know, I thought it was weird, too.
Yup, there’s the Foo Fighters, now. Time to change the channel. Have a great day, and keep smiling.
And if you HAVE been amused by any of this, please consider giving me your… err, I mean, perusing my bookshelf for something to read. 😉