I write books. I also design them myself. This is because I am also a graphic designer and painter. I also write about music a lot. This is because I write and record music myself. Don’t ask me to play you a song unless you’re prepared to suffer the consequences: I will. You don’t want that.
Today, I have several things I’m not doing as promptly as I should, because it is hot and sticky and getting hotter by the minute. I will be naked soon. TMI be damned.
If you loved me, you would send beer. Or scotch. But on a day like today, beer is better. Just saying.
If you loved me, you would buy a book from me, so I could buy beer. Or pizza, because dinner tonight is likely to be on shoe leather. I haven’t been paid in a while. That eviction notice isn’t going to pay itself, my darlings.
If you loved me, you would send me pictures of yourselves with my book logos tattooed on your bodies. Don’t worry. I’ll wait.
If you loved me, you would come write these books for me, so I could get more sleep. Oh, and put the air conditioner in for Dawn. We both have back pain today, so it may not get done in a timely fashion.
Here are three book covers for novels I plan to write sometime in the next year or two:
Professional writers write books and submit and revise and then wait two years for them to reach print. I plot and design novels and then wait years to write them, and then publish them almost immediately. Subtle difference.
I may go take a shower, to dispel the rumour that I am dead.
I love you. Isn’t it about time you reciprocated?
Have a nice day.